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Category:
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Thank God! It’s over. It’s finally over. Before most Indians burst (at the seams), the drama ended. Rahul Mahajan finally garlanded Dimpy Ganguly (21) and soon thereafter married her. (Thank God for small mercies. Remember Rakhi Sawant broke up even before marrying Elesh Parujanwala.) The other two finalists – Harpreet Chabra (20) and Nikunj Malik (25) were left high and dry (nothing to do with alcohol, sillies!) They should thank their lucky starts that they escaped easily. The SHOW is over. The reality is past and the unreality of the real life begins in right earnest. And our ‘imagination’ takes a beat that raises many pertinent questions. There were a host of invitees along with groom’s mother Rekha. Sister Poonam was conspicuous by her absence. (Wonder what’s the catch here?). Dad Pramod was giving his blessings from the photo placed there. So the divorcee got remarried at a five-star hotel and plans to register his marriage in Bandra on Tuesday March 9. And then wishes to fly off for their honeymoon in Maldives and Ireland. For that he has applied to the Court to release his passport (remember there is a drug case pending against him.) But there is a slight hitch. To match his court case, the bride Dimpy was issued a show cause notice from Gladrags agency of Maureen Wadia. It appears Dimpy was on 2-year contract for not appearing on any other show. (This is truly show biz like nothing before.) And if Rahul had Payal Rohatgi and Monica Bedi, Dimpy too had Neel (Neil) Shah. So, hisaab barabar. And the interviews have begun in right earnest. Dimpy wants her husband to pursue politics a la his father Pramod. (!!!) To this Rahul replies, “I’ll first manage my home and once that is settled, I’ll manage the country.” (Grand plans indeed.) "It’s a great feeling. I am both excited and nervous. I really believe marriages are made in heaven and this time I'll give whatever I have to make my wife happy. It is going to be happily ever after". Dimpy claims she knows to handle media better. I suppose, she can use them when later she gets battered. (No pun intended). Rahul has future plans too, “Politics is in my blood but entertainment is my livelihood. You don't get paid that much as an MP. Showbiz is a huge business and I am looking forward to exploring it. Be it TV or films. Moreover it has a mass appeal and gives me an opportunity to get connected with people." (This is the way the cookie crumbles! God save India and Indians!) To take the matters further, what would the couple discuss on their honeymoon? Something like, “Let’s have a joint (not the hip joint, sillies!) together. Let’s drink away to glory (!!!). Smoke and be marry (sorry merry). Let’s flirt – you with him, I with her or you with her and I with him or…never mind. I am confused” And soon he will have drug withdrawal symptoms and Dimpy will rightly turn into a nurse (or psycho). Till now she has been dancing. Then she will run from pillar to post. Verbal and physical abuse will soon follow (It will seem like old times for Rahul.) Finally when better sense will prevail over her, she will follow Shweta Singh (Rahul’s first wife). But that’s for later. Reminds me, it seems Rahul invited Shweta on the show as he wanted to remarry her. (!!!) She politely refused. I suggest he could have married all the three girls (a la male Draupadi). Two is company but three is awesome (and not crowd, sillies!). The Krishna with his gopis. All in the family, I suppose. And if there are kids on the way, their role model father will advice them, “God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?” or “Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.” or “I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.” or “Drugs have taught an entire generation of Indian junkies the metric system.” or “Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.” or “I don't do drugs. I am drugs.” or “Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but my scripture says love your enemy.” or “I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.” or “It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!” Well, that is all for saner times. This brings us to the heart of the matter. If today a junkie is being promoted as if he is the role model for the country, then tomorrow we will have a Veerappan (bandit) or a Chhota Rajan (gangster) or Dawood (smuggler) or Charles Sobhraj (killer) or Ajmal Kasab (terrorist) or Chandramukhi (sex worker) or Adnan Khasshogi (arms dealer) using media to promote themselves and their trades claiming amnesia from their ill-deeds. And when the channel claims high TRPs for this program, let me make something clear. Most of us watched in horror. Pre-teens, teenagers and twenty/thirty something find it a way to showdom. Their thinking is shaped by what they see on the Idiot Box. And if this is the way marriages are, they would want a similar thing tomorrow. (Remember marriages in mid-air, ship, train, etc). Forty/fifty+ watched it with apprehension, sixty/seventy+ with unease and ninety+ with complete horror. (As far as 100+ goes, they are turning over in their graves, as far as I know.) My mom said, “If he is the groom, I will want my daughter to remain unmarried.” Unfortunately Dimpy’s father was absolutely thrilled by the match. (May his thrill remain intact. He wouldn’t have found such a rich match with all the popularity. Never mind if tainted groom.) Isn’t it the responsibility of the Information & Broadcasting Ministry to do a reality check on such shows and put a stop to them? What is the credibility of Rahul Mahajan? What has he one for the country or its citizens? (For that matter, what has his father done? May his soul rest in peace as his 2000 crore is being put to good use by salvaging Rahul’s image.) By any remote chance too, we don’t wish Rahul to be in politics. The waters there are already murkier. His entry will totally pollute the scenario. An entire army of junkies will follow suit. The nation will have a junky party (Not a bad idea. That is the state of matters to come.) And we the gullible fools will be gaping with mouth wide open. Tomorrow on TV channels for discussions, instead of luminaries like Manmohan Singh or Amitabh Bachchan or Sunil Gavaskar, we will have Rahul Mahajan, Shiney Ahuja or Ben Johnson. Is broadcast/electronic media to be abused both by its owners and such disgraced characters just for TRPs, popularity and money? Where are the ethics, social and moral values? No doubt we are living in modern times. But does that make us animals and non-thinking zombies? Don’t we eat what we like, don’t we wear what we like, and don’t we do whatever we like. Then why do we watch what some debased channel is popularising as modern culture and negatively influencing impressionable minds, whose dreams will crash when the show is over. Why should we tolerate such channels and shows when we pay for quality stuff? Isn’t it time to think and raise our voice? One rotten apple spoils an entire basket. So before that can happen, let’s stop this menace in its budding stage. Let’s say NO to Rahul Mahajan type of non-entities (just like drugs). This is just too much to tolerate. My head is spinning (and so is an entire nation’s). We have to draw a line somewhere. The I&B Ministry, the TV channels and the other media promoting the show have all made their money. The viewer has been taken for a ride. Can all viewers afford such crass swayamvars or even dream of it? And there lies our answer. A junkie will proceed on his honeymoon leaving many thinking if he can do it why can’t I? But then he is Rahul Mahajan which you and I are not. He lives in his dream world, we on real ground. The show is over. The reality is before our eyes. After a month the 3 idiots will show their true colours. The proof of the pudding lies in its eating. The love birds will either coo or boo. Let’s watch and wait. Let’s wish them all the best. (They sure do need the entire world’s good wishes.) After all, it will be too much to bear each other when the cameras are off, the viewers disappear and the smiles slip. Nice show, eh! This is the coming of age of Indian idiot box. Let’s say cheers to the Big, Fat, Indian Wedding. (Eeeks!)
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Category:
TV
There is Rahul Gandhi (39), a politician; Rahul Dravid (37), a cricketer; Rahul Bose (42), actor; Rahul Vaidya (22), singer; Rahul Bhatt (20), fitness trainer/aspiring actor; Rahul Khanna (37), actor; Rahul Roy (42), actor but none to beat Rahul Mahajan (35), a who-body.
Jab miya biwi raazi toh kya karega kaazi
(When husband wife agree, what can anyone do?)
Alas! That is the irony of Rahul Mahajan’s life. He is ready but the girls, who responded so eagerly, are getting cold feet. Even before there could be a possible marriage with the bride-to/may-be, the divorce has already taken place. Now you would call this the eighth wonder of the world. I won’t, considering the groom, who needs (social) grooming.
Toh Baat Pakki! Nahin. Kachchi. The joker (no pun intended) in this entire farce is Rahul Mahajan himself.
The three finalists: Nikunj Malik (25), Dimpy Ganguly (21) and Harpreet Chabra (20) are coming to their senses and are realising what they are getting into. Till the time it was all fun and jokes with no commitments, it was alright. It seemed a show (there was no talent to showcase!) to launch themselves before the viewers and garner publicity. That done, they stepped into the finals to be one among the three to garland Rahul.
And the Shakespearean tragedy began to unveil. The girls used to cavorting to Bollywood song and dance and getting used to limelight are getting cold feet. Nikunj Malik in an interview to national English daily has said, “He’s put me off. I am not keen to marry him anymore.” Here the drama begins and spice gets spicier.
Malik, graduate of NIFT, Delhi and a fashion designer, is on record saying Mahajan must quit smoking and flirting with other women! (Holy cow!) Malik is not on the show out of her own free will but because of her mother’s insistence. But she nails the issue saying even after marriage she will not stop working and will maintain her independence. She is planning to launch her fashion label soon, with or without Rahul.
Wow! That’s a brave woman, who has spoken her mind. But (obviously) without consulting Rahul. Shaadi se pehle hi talaaq ho gaya! Or so it would seem.
Imagine what will happen on March 6, when the D-Day arrives and the finalist is chosen to marry? Will it be shaadi ke mandap se dulhan bhaag gayi? Poor Rahul will be left twiddling his thumbs (down).
This is not to say he does not have noble ideas (except there is nothing noble behind them). On February 28 2010, he claimed he wanted to be like Gandhi. (And Malik accuses him of openly flirting with other women and smoking!) God forbid! Our father of the nation wasn’t anything like this and would squirm if he comes to know of this highly inequitable comparison. (May his soul rest in peace.)
Another noble idea was to buy a heart-shape (oui!) solitaire ring for his may-be bride on February 25, 2010. Nothing bad about that except the bride(s) are getting cold feet. It won’t be difficult to imagine that in just three days all three finalists would disappear like the proverbial horns from a cow’s head (not highly improbable.) On February 7 2010 he claimed, “I am getting MARRIED!” Noblest idea indeed! And he wants ‘non-itchy wear for his swayamvar’. (Couldn’t have asked for better.)
The worst part is ‘moonh dikhayi’ of the girls. When they are already visible to the entire world on this reality show, what is this farce all about?
What’s so great about a divorcee shouting from TV channels about a (future uncertain) second marriage? Wonder why the girls are in their twenties and not in their teens or better still in cradle? Imagine then they can call Rahul (by mistake, of course) pitaji or chachaji or mamaji instead of patiji! Had he been married at the right age, he would be a father of a 10-year old. Think about it (but don’t waste your brains on it.)
And the (un)noblest episode was a complaint filed with the Information and Broadcasting Ministry for the immodest portrayal of women on this show. Nothing could be further from truth. Marriage is a holy process. No one should be allowed to make a mockery of it.
And a slight impediment to the farce of the century: Pravin Mahajan (uncle, who killed Rahul’s father Pramod) expired on March 3 2010. Will this stop Rahul from tying the knot as the family would be in mourning? Doesn’t seem so.
I remember a saying: doli na kahaar, banno baithi taiyaar (There is no horse or its puller but the groom is ready). Poor Rahul! Being on a show enjoying the fun is easy. In real life, it won’t be all song and dance. The question is will he get married and how long will the marriage last?
As mentioned, Nikunj Malik is an aspiring fashion designer planning a professional life. Will she be able to devote time to a married life with an equally demanding husband, whom she has already accused?
Dimpy Ganguly has as yet not spoken her mind. She is getting along famously with the groom. And why not considering she is a model and an aspiring actor. What do they say about birds of a feather, flock together.
Harpreet Chabra, (model, anchor) from Delhi is on record saying, “Rahul can marry Dimpy. My life won’t stop.” (This is highly uncharitable considering Rahul may select her. Hmm). This is the state of matters just three days away from marriage.
Rahul’s future shaadi strongly dangles between abadi and barbaadi. He needs to decide what direction it should take after the nautanki is over.
The luckiest of girls got eliminated. You would ask – why lucky? That’s a very bold question after reading the entire story. You won’t need a psychiatrist (forget astrologer) to predict the future of this marriage. The answer lies in your heart. As for Rahul, I wish him all the best with a rider: jiska kaam usi ko saajhe, aur kare to danda baaje.
This is instalment 2 of swayamvar 2. Please wait for instalment 3 when matters will be settled for good. So stay tuned till March 6.
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Category:
TV
     Can’t ‘imagine’ a RDLJ taking over DDLJ. Can’t imagine a Rahul taking over SRK! This Rahul is not the heartthrob of DDLJ but a druggy, a wife beater and a divorcee. With a laughter that would scare the wolves away (forget attracting ‘brides-to-be’) Rahul Mahajan is neither a (role) model nor a star actor. An over-aged ubla hua aaloo (boiled potato) is out to make a mess of a sanctimonious process. After all, the crores made by his father can be used to refurbish his druggy image. Claiming to be an aspiring politician and entertainer, he is out to find a bride for himself in a traditional manner. NDTV channel Imagine has come up with Swayamvar Season 2 with the infamous (but popular!) Rahul Mahajan. The channel appears desperate to garner TRPs what with the earlier Swayamvar of Rakhi Sawant. Sawant selected Elesh Parujanwala to be her ‘husband’. Sadly, the news is she has broken up with him. (So what was the farce all about!) Then came Raaz Pichhle Janam Ka, where secrets of past life were revealed. It was a fight between superstition and science. It was soon off the sir. And now another farce – RDLJ. Rahul Mahajan, 35, is all out to get married. You would say, he is a little overage to get married and that too on a TV channel in a swayamvar. His dad Pramod Mahajan had allegedly fathered the murdered journalist Shivani Bhatnagar’s child and was accused of having a hand in her murder too. From being a poor school teacher to a tech savvy crorepati politician, Pramod raised many a eyebrow. He owned the debacle of 2004 elections. And then on May 3 2006 he met with a bullet-riddled end. Rahul was supposed to take over his father’s political career (a la Rahul Gandhi). And then came the shocker. Exactly a month after his father's death on June 3, 2006, Mahajan was hospitalized after an alleged cocaine overdose mixed with drinks (partying in a government bungalow with close friend). He was arrested by the Delhi Police on charges of drug possession and consumption. Political hand saved him. In July 2006, he got engaged to Shweta Singh someone he had known for 13 years. The wedding took place on August 29. There were serious allegations of wife beating/verbal abuse. The marriage lasted for two months. Shweta filed for a divorce on 13 December 2007. On 1 August 2008 they were divorced by mutual consent. From then on Rahul has been on an over-drive on image building. He appeared on Bigg Boss 2 where he was openly pawing and kissing Payal Rohatgi, who ignored him. He did the same with Monica Bedi and was meted the same treatment. It was like langoor ke moonh mein angoor. He had not faced life in entertainment media and couldn’t handle it. Everything happened a little too soon for him – father’s death, drug case, engagement/marriage/divorce. Then tryst with media. And now a swayamvar. It is all a little too mush for (poor) us to handle. Now coming to the show proper. It is compered by Ram Kapoor, who compered the Rakhi Sawant swayamvar too. Enough brauhaha is made to make Rahul appear the most eligible bachelor (!!!) The initial response came from nine jail inmates, who showed keen interest to be his bride but were rejected. It is a puzzle that there are no divorcees as contestants or that would be an interesting point. Out of the 15 brides-to-be, Swati Augustin, Priyadarshani Singh, Sonia Kour, Rupa Khurana, Rashmi Ravani, Twinkle Mukherjee, Charmy Chauhan, Mrinal, Rajshree Mishra, Tanu Bhatia, Mani Thakur, Devinder Sidhu, Shanti have already been eliminated. Mrinmai Kolwalkar, Harpreet Chhabra, Nikunj Malik, Dimpy Ganguly remain. Dimpy’s ‘chances’ are bright. There were reports that he has already been engaged to her. The show is nothing short of village nautanki with the girls dancing, singing, and displaying their histrionics. The worst is one can see him openly pawing, flirting and kissing the girls. If (as he claims) is a traditionalist, then none of his family members especially his mother is there. He is having a gala time like a spoilt prince. Seems like the effects of drugs have not left him. As each contestant is eliminated, she ends up criticizing and cribbing about the remaining contestants. The bitching goes on. With so much negativity, it doesn’t reflect well on them too. The girls’ makeup and dresses are another eye sore. They look more like publicity-starved village belles. The set itself is garish reflecting old palaces of bygone era of maharajas. An average Indian is still old school. No matter how advanced the world becomes or how many live-in relationships increase, one still goes for mother’s approval and girl next door. A total family picture with an ideal son and an ideal bahu. Sadly none of these standard.Indian features are in this show. As for Rahul Mahajan, he needs a nurse instead of a bride. Instead of living in fantasies, he should come out of drug-induced hallucinations and face the real world. He should register with a drug-rehab and cure himself of the after-effects. He should also see a psychiatrist to let go of past ghosts. He is no role model for anyone. If he can be on TV seeking bride, tomorrow a smuggler/terrorist/murderer too would take recourse to build up their image. Considering how a whole lot of young impressionable minds get affected by these easy escapist solutions to the biggest decision of life, the TV channel should go easy. Can a reality show be an answer to real life relationship? I guess not. It is OK to watch it as a TV fictional show. That is what it ends up as. Will you want a husband like Rahul Mahajan for yourself or your sister or daughter? That should answer that. The rules for courtship haven’t changed. We still want someone to share our entire life with love. Period. It will be interesting to know how this show ends. Will Rahul ever be blissfully married for good? Will the bride face a future unlike Shweta after the initial euphoria dies? Will it be happily married after? Very good questions indeed! Watch and wait. The result is not very far. Aa ha!
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TV
    
National Bingo Night is the new hourly TV show being hosted on Colors channel from January 16 2010 at 9 pm and produced by Fox TV Studio and Idea. The show is based on an international format of similar name Bingo. As show is already popular overseas, the same has been repeated since its launch in India. To gain more popularity, its format is simple. The contestant, the audience and even viewers at home can participate simultaneously. Bingo (lotto or keno) actually is a game of chance played with cards. But for the TV show, bingo has been formatted slightly differently. The contestant has to guess a number (higher or lower) and if that is so, he wins a score. He can win as high as Rs 25 lakhs. Everyone loves money and we Indians even more. So if moolah is there to be made easily (with no strings attached) then people will rush towards it in large numbers. And that is what the reality shows of today boils down to. Indian TV shows are vying for viewers’ eyeballs and new concepts that immediately click is actively pursued. The added bonus is roping in of the Bollywood stars. And viola! A pot purée is ready. Who will not wish to make money along with being entertained? I for sure wouldn’t even care for a star host if I could make lakhs in less than an hour. No job can assure that but if a TV show can so why won’t viewers rush to it? Money hai to honey hai bhai. So this has nothing to do with the host (even the host is there merely to make money and gain popularity. After all he too has to survive, hai na). This show actually doesn’t need a host. Well, I didn’t view the first episode as neither I am interested in gambling nor in family shows (read Bachchan family saga.) I gave it a pass. But to my surprise (as to countless others), the media reported that Abhishek Bachchan debuted show got the highest TV ratings of 5.1 (!!!) Consider this: Abhishek has been “credited” with having piped past Shahrukh Khan (4.6, Kya Aap Paanchvi Pass Se Tez Hain, 2008), Amitabh Bachchan (4.6, Bigg Boss 3, 2009), Akshay Kumar (4.4, Khatron Ke Khiladi 2, 2009), Rakhi Sawant (4.1, Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, 2009), Shilpa Shetty (2.5, Bigg Boss 2, 2008) and Salman Khan (2.2, Dus Ka Dum, 2009). While Shahrukh Khan, Akshay Kumar and Salman Khan are audience based actors (earlier in his hay days Amitabh Bachchan was), Abhishek, Amitabh, Shilpa Shetty and Rakhi Sawant are money and media made stars. They are projected by the media for which the media is paid well. But their movies die a natural death in the movie halls as they are a no show. They perform well at press conferences but unfortunately do not connect with viewers. Coming back to the show: The tallest wooden plank (Abhishek Bachchan) debuted on TV with Bingo. The strategy to gain popularity is simple. Choose a foreign show that is already popular (remember Amitabh hosted Bigg Boss 3). Make it family business (all Bachchans appear together and promote it). Get the advertisers (Idea already uses Abhishek) and promote it aggressively (that was done in Bigg Boss 3 and Abhishek Aaram Classes) and bingo! the halwa (read a new show) is ready. Minus his famous surname, Abhishek will be a mere WHO? Till date he doesn’t know to act (for sure), can’t dance (two left feet) and has the most wooded expressions (beats Kishan Kumar of T Series non-fame hands down). He joins the ranks of Puru Raj Kumar or Mimoh Chakraborty minus his father’s push and money. When industry outsiders like Jackie Shroff, Akshay Kumar, Shahrukh Khan, John Abraham or Kunal Khemu made a name for themselves (even Amitabh Bachchan was an outsider), why does Amitabh need to make his son appear as an actor when he is far from it. Even insiders like Sunny Deol, Sunjay Dutt, Salman Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan have proceeded beyond the initial push and carved a niche for themselves. In Abhishek’s case, he needs a push each time. His presence requires a media circus without which he will not survive. If Amitabh had spent his crores on his company ABCL and promoting other promising actors (Arshad Warsi) probably his monetary gains would be greater. The episode I watched was one of Arshad Warsi and Vidya Balan. The participants made the show interesting. There was Ali Asghar, the jester bafoon (poor man’s Rishi Kapoor), who provided with some laughs and took attention away from a looking for a way out Abhishek. There was Rashmi, who told about the numbers. And the viewers had the eyes fixed on the lolly. (That is why they were there.) Abhishek had all the C grade actors’ expressions (if you care to watch Bhojpuri movies or earlier DD serials). His attempts at raising laughter fizzled out. His dialogue delivery was not cohesive. His act could well compete with a tantrum throwing child. How long will he survive (it is a daily show) and the show maintains its ratings remains to be seen. This is not a criticism of Abhishek. He is beyond it (!!!) Will any company sponsor a show of Abhishek minus his famour surname? And there rests the whole story. Only time will tell where this show leads? On his own, what are Abhishek’s achievements minus his father’s push? He has manhandled two journos. The case was settled out of court courtesy Amar Singh. He got highest UP award for arts courtesy Mulayam Singh. That raised a controversy. He married Aishwarya Rai after being rejected by Karisma Kapoor and Jaya rejecting Rani Mukerji. Does he hold any degree or work experience? Can he claim anything to be truly his own except his father’s name? Money can surely make a pole look attractive. It can make wood “act” (I never doubted it). Has anyone seen him bare chest as other heroes. How will he flaunt his body when he has nothing to show (I am being mean for the reason of being mean). Is he gay as there were rumors of his grandpa being one? Why don’t he and his wife have children even three years after marriage? His dad has earned enough for him to do aaraam for life? He doesn’t need to make a fool of himself before an entire nation. He looks more like a goon from UP (polished of course!). Naach na jaane, aangan teda. Langoor ke moonh mein angoor. Khuda meherbaan to gadha pehelwan. Gadhe ki peeth par kitabein rakh do to woh ghoda nahi ban jaata. Should we tolerate fools just because they have loads of cash to buy media and make a show for (read fools of) us? The Bachchans can only show how to use media effectively to promote themselves and remain in the limelight. They have set a precedent in how to abuse/misuse media for personal gains. National Bingo Night is an extension of it. Welcome to another episode of Bachchan media circus. (EEEKS!) And certainly this is not the last episode. (afsos)
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Category:
TV
You will say, Big Boss has come a long way from Season 1 (Arshad Warsi, 2006-07), Season 2 (Shilpa Shetty, 2008) and now to Season 3 (Amitabh Bachchan, 2009). Currently being telecast on a TV channel, the show began on Oct 4 2009. Shilpa had hosted the show very well. So there was a curiosity factor of what it offered now. Suffice it to say, it is a big let down. The contestants themselves are the show’s biggest minuses. The crass contestants with cheap language have left a bad taste in mouth. It makes one wonder why such a show is being aired and what exactly is its purpose? The greed probably for Rs 1 crore amount and phookat ka publicity for out of work actors. Empty idle vessels are making much noise. It is there to see. Baba Ramdev was wise to reject the proposal of appearing on this dumbest show. Only a week old but the stench emanating from the show is so strong that it can make anyone vomit. Others will be left with a strong headache. Hour long each day is a torture not everyone can bear.  Aditi Govtrikar (33): (Physician) Dr. Sarah Muffazal Lakdawala (Aditi’s married name) is probably the sensible of the lot. She presents a stable and smiling picture. She left us wondering why she was on the show. She too looks tired and is content being in her corner. Then why be on the show. Aren’t her patients waiting? Hmm. BORE!  Bakhtiyar M Irani (35): (TV Serial Actor) This is sure to be his road to fame. He may not get a hero’s role but who know Bollywood will become aware of his presence on Planet Earth. Otherwise as of now he’s who-who (not Who’s Who). SCHOOLISH  Claudia Ciesla (22): (German Model) Her association with Salman Khan gave her instant recognition. She is trying to establish herself in Bollywood. In a strange land, she makes us proud speaking in Hindi (We Indians should learn from her). She makes no bones about the show bringing her exposure. She is frank and forthright. She refused to say the three words to cheapster Kamal Khan as it would be a lie. She has won many hearts with her smile and easy going nature. CLASS WINNER!  Ismail Darbar (50): (Bollywood Musician) He began well with Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) and Devdas (2002). He has composed music for a total of nine movies, the last being in 2008. His descent has been sure and steady. Now he is left with gracing dance and music shows on TV. Was there anything great about him? Not really. Never. If his current appearance is anything to go by. Passing cheap remarks and guffawing (that irks viewers), he should gracefully voluntarily withdraw from the show. YUCK!  Jaya Sawant (50): (Rakhee’s mom) She has been evicted. Never mind. What mattered was the ghati came across as selfless and truthful when others were all pretence and floss. Wish she remained on the show. She did provide a reason for the show to be interesting- the others continually bitched (about her). She is better off the show. Neither the show nor its contestants are worth her. KUDOS!  Kamal Rashid Khan (34): (Bhojpuri Actor) The cheapster of the lot, his intro came with his first release Desh Drohi (2008). The film received the “ Lajja Award for Worst Treatment of a Serious Issue Award” at the Golden Kela Awards. If that was not enough, he is on the show wanting Claudia Ciesla to say “I Love You” to him. And then he went on a bhook hartaal until she utters the golden words. Guess what! In the dead of the night, he eats chori chori chupke chupke when everyone is asleep. The sooner he is out of the show, the better. DHONGI NO 1.  Poonam Dhillon (46): (Yesteryear Bollywood Actress) Currently a businesswoman, it is surprising she could find time for the show. More surprisingly what made her decide on this crass show? Probably she was reminiscing the past glory. Wish it brings something positive to her. Couldn’t find any impact she leaves on the viewers looking tired and plump. YAWN!  Raju Shrivastav (45): (Comedian) The baudiest of the lost, he sings all vulgar songs with double meaning entendres. His acting and comedy leaves a lot to be desired for. CRASS!  Rohit Verma (40): (Fashion Designer) Wish he remained in the fashion field only. Is he a gay or…or… What is he? Rather why is he (there)? Wish he could vanish in thin air. (But not all wishes come true.) Could someone nominate him soon? Please. EEKS!  Shamita Shetty (29): (Bolly Actress) Better known as Shilpa’s sister, she is the fakest of the lot. Although being from South India, she claims to never eaten rice! And poor her! She has to make do with lot less on the show when she is used to better things in life. Could she tell us, then why is she on the show. Bitching is her main job. With no movies on hand ( a la Shilpa) isn’t it good to get free publicity and a chance to win too? FAKE!  Sherlyn Chopra (25): (Bollywood actress) (!?!) known for her hot and nearly nude scenes is strangely fully covered. Appearing in B-grade movies, she strangely looked married (with sindoor) and expecting (a baby) too. She must work on public relations and networking. Keeping secluded hardly helps on a reality show. SHIT!  Tannaz B Irani (37): We all were shocked when she along with her husband Bakhtiyar handed over their baby to the host to be on the show. That shocked the living daylights out of each one of us. No show on earth is worth missing out on one’s helpless care-needing baby. She comes across as an indifferent mother. Both can apply for Worst Parents’ Award (if there is one). Disappear disappear. SHOCKER!  Vindu Dara Singh (50): (TV/Bolly Actor). He is better known as Dara Singh’s son and earlier as Farah Naz’s husband. Age-wise he is Jaya Sawant’s equal (and Rakhee’s dad, ha ha!). Wearing a wig doesn’t hide the reality. And his buck teeth make him (Tinnu Anand’s brother and) a specimen worth preserving a museum. Fighting and using foul language comes natural to him on the show. He probably was hallucinating he was in his home and was a Big Star (my foot!). He should be kicked out soon to come back to his senses thereby landing firmly on earth. FOUL!  Amitabh Bachchan (67): (Host/Actor) He turned 67 yesterday and wishes to continue acting till 80 (!) Did he think the viewers wish to learn chaste Hindi from the show? Couldn’t understand the garble he went on with. His contribution to the show – his name. Anyone can host this show better instead of the boring way he is holding it. He should do it for his personal benefit and not on the reality show. Not when he is being paid Rs 125 crore for hosting it. GAWD!  BIG BOSS (SEASON 3): Summing Up: My take would be: 13. Claudia Ciesla 12. Vindu Dara Singh 11. Poonam Dhillon 10. Bakhtiyar M Irani 9. Aditi Govitrikar 8. Raju Shrivastav 7. Shamita Shetty 6. Rohit Verma 5. Tannaz B Irani 4. Ismail Darbar 3. Sherlyn Chopra 2. Kamal Rashid Khan 1. Jaya Sawant View it for all the out-of-work extras. They should have been trained in language and mannerisms (not to say in social etiquettes) before appearing on the show. The animals in this zoo are all wild and whacky. Bahut baas maarta hai. Do you have the time? Better still, do you have something better to do? GOOD!
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